Mentorship That Works: Why Relationships Matter More Than Programs

Patty Schmid, Community School Coordinator: North Buncombe Middle

A piece centered on mentorship, and the impact that trusted adults and community mentors have on young people. This work highlights why relationship-based approaches resonate so deeply with students and why they matter.

Mentor Groups at a Glance
Unete (FAROS) – 2.5 years
Journeymen – 4 years
Big Brothers Big Sisters – 4 years
Black Men Mondays – 2 months

In summary, while programs offer a framework, relationships provide the essential emotional and psychological support that makes growth possible.

Aligned with the values of the NC Community Schools Coalition, this work centers on belonging, partnership, and the belief that every young person has strengths to build on. Relationships are not an add-on to the work. They are the work.

Unlike rigid programs, relationships are adaptable. They provide personalized support that can shift in response to students’ needs, especially during times of transition or challenge.

Research affirms what many educators and coordinators see every day: relationships are what truly engage, inspire, and support students.

Positive, secure relationships are foundational to human development and brain function. They serve as a buffer against stress and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), helping young people feel safe, supported, and ready to learn.

Where Relationships Come to Life

I’m sitting at my desk, quietly listening to the Big Sisters mentor group currently meeting in my space. Two adult women and seven eighth graders sit together on the floor, engaged in a connection activity. As they trace their hands along the edges of poster board in bright colors, they talk about the impact of gossip and what it can do to friendships. They snack, laugh, and write down the things that matter most to them.

This is one part of my role as a Community School Coordinator with United Way at North Buncombe Middle School that I treasure most: our mentor groups.

There are currently four mentor groups that meet on Fridays during our “Power Hour” time. Big Brothers Big Sisters, BROS, FAROS, and Journeymen each offer something different, but they are all rooted in the same idea: consistent, caring relationships create space for growth.

BROS is a group of young men who are navigating challenges and learning to make more grounded decisions. Their mentor, Dwayne, focuses on building accountability, responsibility, and a sense of brotherhood. Week after week, these young men show up for one another. They look forward to that time together.

FAROS includes a group of students, representing about 20 percent of our student population, who are building community and strengthening connections while receiving additional support.

The mentors also engage families, helping parents and guardians stay connected to what’s happening at school and in their children’s lives. This includes outreach for events like Community Night and support with tools like Infinite Campus so families can stay informed and involved.

Journeymen is a group of eighth grade boys who are working to find their place and voice within the school community. Through mentorship, they are supported in building confidence, identity, and purpose. As their organization shares, their goal is to help young men grow into people of integrity.

Across all of these groups, one thing is clear: When adults move with intention, when partnerships are aligned, and when students are seen for who they are and who they are becoming, something shifts. Programs create structure. Relationships create change.